First Week of 7th Grade

Background info:  I was homeschooled all through elementary school till I was sent to a real school with real humans in 7th grade. I didn't know how to do regular school things so here are a series of awkward stories of me making a fool of myself during my first week of 7th grade

Part One 

Homeschoolers don't know about attendance obviously because everyone is always there at your house

My name was called first because of the B and there must not have been any A names in that class

The only thing I knew about attendance was from that part in Mulan when her name is called and she stands up and shouts "Present" and so I did exactly that  

And then I watched everyone else in the class remain seated and quietly respond "here" like total pros

                                               Part Two

Homeschoolers also don't take standardized tests or get graded on things. We just read our books and learn the information. So I didn't know how tests worked either except that you need to write the correct answers on the lines

                                              
                                               Part Three

                     I had a lot of keychains on my backpack

One day I was walking to class and one of the keychains got caught on another kid's backpack, a tall guy in my older brother's class. But he didn't notice and only I noticed 

And since he was older and taller and stronger than me, he literally started dragging me down the hallway with him as he charged ahead to class

And I was too shy to speak up so I didn't know how to inform him

Eventually someone was like 

THE END!!

If you enjoyed laughing at my embarrassing moments, you should check out my brother's comic, where he also makes a fool of himself:  

birthday gifts

gross

REAL rock and roll

In order to understand this post you should know that I work with elementary students. Sometimes kids get picked up late, so I'll try to entertain them with whatever materials I can find in the classroom.

More importantly to understand this post you have to be familiar with the Shrek soundtrack, particularly this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEWmmHdKPT4

The first few seconds of the opening track on the Shrek soundtrack are very gentle, but if you have the attention span to listen beyond 8 seconds, the pace picks up pretty quickly.

Less than 8 seconds into the song:

I picked up the SAME disk and put the SAME song back on. I fast forwarded past the first few seconds and hit play.

Eyelashes

this is a brief interaction I witnessed in a preschool classroom

I recommend this social tactic to adults looking to make friends and/or flirt

climbing trees

The moral of the story is I CLIMBED THE HIGHEST AND THE REST IS IRRELEVANT 

Lunch

For my friend John

(borrowed from his childhood)